How terrifying is it to hear that someone in your circle has cancer? Cancer is the Al Queda of diseases, it’s the thing that keeps some level of terror in life no matter what you do.  This past week I got ‘THE’ phone call. It’s a call I’ve received many times in my life, and this one was no different.

“I’ve got some not great news…. Meg has Lukemia”. My brother’s shaky voice breaks my heart, it shatters right there even though we are 1500 miles a part.  Cancer is the big white elephant in the room, it’s something that almost everyone will be touched by, even if its effects aren’t direct… it’s something that someone you know or someone you love will ultimately face and unfortunately I’ve had to face it several times before.

This whole situation is even more complex, you see the woman in question who now has to grapple with this horrid disease is the same one whose barred me and my family from seeing my niece and nephew.  My first thought on hearing the news (aside from deep empathy for my brother) was that somehow the grappling with this disease had some impact on the way in which she dealt with the world and therefore with us.  How long had cancer lurked under the surface before it reared its ugly head? It doesn’t matter anymore, Cancer ends family feuds, it’s the ultimate trump card in any argument and it’s the kind of thing that you simply drop all your shit for and do everything you can to help.

The whole thing was a sobering reminder to me not to delay the enjoyment of my life. On a walk home from a haircut I got that day, I was walking hand and hand with my son Aaron and I said to him “you know I love you, no matter what…. Whatever you do, I will always love you.”  That’s the kind of stuff we SHOULD be saying to our kids, and hearing the news that my brother and his wife are now hand in hand in a fight for her life was just the kind of kick in the pants to remind me to make sure I say the kinds of things to my kids that a father SHOULD say…These kinds of things DON’T Go without saying,

The moments in the day since that I am alone with my thoughts I run the what if scenarios through my head. How could my brother survive the loss of his wife, be a lawyer and raise two kids?  The answer is, I hope he never has to find out. But if this story doesn’t have a happy ending, I belive in the amazing capacity of people, to survive and transcend tragedies. My deep hope is that this is something that Jeremy and Meg can beat, if not for good, at least for a good long time.

Fucking Cancer.