I am a fucking hypocrite. Don’t worry, I know this…The thing is, you’re probably a fucking hypocrite too. We live in a ‘do as I say not as I do’ universe. But I’ve picked a particularly difficult path in this upside down crazy train, you see I’ve decided to be Vegan. Make no mistake, it was a decision. No one forced being Vegan on me (and consequentially I don’t force being Vegan on anyone else). For your reference, being Vegan means that I do not eat any animals or consume any products which are derived from animals.  So this means no Cow, cow’s milk, gelatin (made from cow parts), leather, whey (which is a protein made from milk), casein (which is a protein that makes cheese gooey) or anything that is even remotely derived from an animal.

I am not a fanatical Vegan and yet isn’t being Vegan by its very nature fanatical. I’ve adopted a strict group of rules about what I will and won’t eat. When I was young I bitched about the whole ‘kosher thing’ and now I’m following a diet even more strict.  It’s a real dichotomy, by my very nature I am a rule breaker. I’m someone who hates to be told what to do and what not to do.

I’m often asked “Why” I’m Vegan. The answer to this is pretty straight forward – I don’t think animals are on this planet to serve humanity. It’s not our right to do whatever we want with sentient beings. Confinement, torture, inhumane treatment isn’t cool with me and unfortunately a lot of what ends up on peoples plates gets there in a way that I can not stomach. It makes me sick. I’m compassionate and don’t think my own personal tastes are more important that the life of animals.  And yet, I am not someone who draws an absolute line. I think PETA is full of shit when they try to ban companion animals and pets. My life and the lives of my family have been amazingly impacted by our cat. It’s enhanced all our compassion and understanding of animals. I don’t think that using horses for things like police work or pulling carriages is absolute evil.

That’s right. Fucking hypocrite. I should be disowned by the vegan community and cast out as impure.  But that’s not everything. I squish bugs without impunity, lay down ant bait and destroy entire ant colonies. I eat Thai food that’s obviously got fish sauce in it. Friday nights I eat Hallah that isn’t vegan (it has egg in it), I tried Vegan hallah and it just wasn’t Hallah…and the cars I drive have leather seats.  Oh and did I mention, I also eat honey. All these facts come together and make a clear case against me being Vegan. In fact there are people in the Vegan community who would say that I have no ‘right’ calling myself vegan.  And for a while that bothered me.  Then I thought about why I’m doing what I do and why I’ve made the choices I’ve really made.

Vegan is just another fucking label that people put on you. It goes along with White, Jewish, Nerdy, Tall, Funny, Writer, Dad, Neurotic… None of them really accurately say who I really am, they are just societal shortcuts to push me quickly in a box so I can be dealt with.  So I’ve decided that it’s best to embrace and own my hypocrisy. Imperfection is an essential part of the human condition, and to pretend otherwise is to present one of the greatest falshoods you can. So I’ve really come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter if I’m Vegan or not. I don’t need a label to validate my own personal life choices, I don’t need to be categorized and defined by anyone else. I know what I do and why I do it, and I’ll leave room for that to change and grow over time.