A trend I’ve noticed among the twenty or thirtysomething, iPod wearing, MacBook Pro using, Latte drinking, tattooed set is an increased animosity towards the antics of kids. Now I’m not singling any one place out or one cafe out, this problem is wider than that (spend a day in the Buckman, Alberta, NW, LoBu or Close in SE neighborhoods and you’ll see what I’m talking about). Somehow, somewhere these people elevated to a higher plane, one where they could chastise those of us who chose to replicate and hiss under their breath ‘Breeders!”  I am a father of three, so I’ve seen a lot. My kids have broken down and gone berserk at some of the most unfortunate times in some of the most unfortunate places. My wife and I have always been attentive, always worked to help diffuse the outburst and if needed removed the kid from the area (when we can).

There are lots of parents who just don’t care about what their kids do and who their kids pester. But this piece isn’t about them… It’s about the all to smug, too cool for school cats who think that disdain is the only response to family with kids. And to them I say “Yo Mama’s A Breeder!” Seriously, these same schlubs spending their afternoons milking a single late thinking that it entitles them to rent the spot and the wifi for a day were the same runny nose, screaming and tantruming kids that they now seem to despise.

Portland is world renowned for being a great city to raise kids and the irony is that many of these self important ‘Breeder Haters’ will someday actually get laid and that someday may result in having kids. Then rather than seeing the annoyance in a kid standing in the middle of a cafe yelling NO at the top of their lungs, they’ll see the beauty in life, the raw unfiltered nature of children. The universe of little people who don’t filter what they say, what they say is how they feel and what they think. A skill us adults only seem to find at the bottom of our third scotch or fifth pint of beer.